LIFE: TRAVELING WITH CHILDREN - PART II
What is it about having children that scares people off of traveling? Why do you put so much blame and stock on the children and your inability to travel and “live your life”? News flash: it’s not the children’s fault. If you feel you can’t travel with children, then that’s on you, not them. It’s you that lacks the proper life skills and character to travel with your kids.
Listen, I’m all for traveling alone with your partner, and every once in a while, you do need that break. That being said, I am 100% against leaving your kids behind every-single-time you travel with the excuse that “they won’t remember anything”. The only argument that I will accept is cost and unable to afford the expenses of a full family trip. Otherwise, you’re truly underestimating yourself and your children by making these excuses.
Let’s talk science for a bit, since people are always more persuaded with scientific evidence.
Scientific research says that kids won’t actually be able to remember anything before the age of 5. Five seems to be the pivotal age in which memories begin to form and are stored.
However, personally, and especially with my experience traveling with my own children, I believe that ‘memory’ is not (and should not be) the metric for evaluating whether you should travel with your kids or not.
Hamza and Layla may not remember being on an airplane at the age of 2, or walking down the streets of Chinatown, or meeting the Minions from Despicable Me, but they will have the pictures to show for it. Hamza might, however, remember riding his first rollercoaster, and being scared out of his mind. He might remember seeing his first real Lion or Zebra or Giraffe and the excitement he felt in that moment. Seeing photographs of their trip might trigger those memories further, because if you want to speak Science, then scientifically speaking the novelty of an experience and the emotions tied in with that novelty (such as fear or excitement) are critical factors in memory creation.
But again, whether they do remember anything of their trip to LA or more recently Singapore, or not, should not be the only metric in which we use to measure whether we should be traveling with our children.
In my opinion, traveling is one of the most important foundations of developing life skills outside of the children’s comfort zone. It teaches them how to act and behave in an unfamiliar environment and in different spaces, how to communicate with people from different backgrounds and nationalities, people who may not even speak their language, and it opens them up to a range of cultures, traditions and customs that are so different from their own, which essentially shapes them into the adults they will one day become.
Traveling should not be solely done to “create memories”, but to explore and learn and discover new things. Not only about the world around you, but about you. This applies to everyone, regardless of age. How many times have we heard the phrase, “you really want to know a person, move in with them or travel with them.”
My husband and I knew that our next trip will be with the children. So we researched long and hard for the perfect destination that is both adult and child-friendly. We hit the jackpot when we thought of Singapore. It had everything! The historical and cultural side, with old streets and markets and museums, it had the tropical side with its islands, beaches and resorts and it had its wonderful entertainment and adventurous side catered to children with its zoos, safaris, amusement parks, water parks and shows! Having traveled with the children before, I will admit to feeling slightly superior to my husband, and sometimes acted like a bit of a know-it-all.
One of the main things that my husband and I agreed on prior to making the trip is the idea of just letting things go. Of not being uptight when on holiday. We didn’t let the children’s usual bedtime hinder us in any way, or their moods, or anything else. That was the best decision we ever made.
We had our double stroller, and we saw almost every inch of Singapore with the children. Some things they missed, by sleeping through it, other things they experienced in all its glory. And that was OK. We had full days, every day. We would get back to the hotel every night way past midnight, and finally sleep by 1 or 2AM. The kids would make it through the day with a series of power naps, and it worked wonderfully for everyone involved!
Experiencing things through the eyes of a child is pure magic. It truly is. To think that last year I was with the children at Universal Studios LA, and they slept through 80% of it, and the 20% that they were up for they were terrified of every single character they met, and of now, going to Universal Studios Singapore and watching them interact with every character they met, dancing with them, hugging them, shaking hands with them, taking pictures with each and every single character, going on rides, and so on. It’s incredible. You cannot underestimate these little details in your child’s life, those small life skills. Hamza went on rides that ended up scaring him, but what was so impressive for me, as a parent, was watching how he dealt with that experience. He did not cry once during the whole ride. He was holding on tight, completely silent, but you can see the fear and discomfort on his face. When the ride ended, and he disembarked, that’s when he let himself cry, maybe they were tears of relief, but it was another small tell-tale sign of his character.
Another proud parent moment was when we attended a show for the kids, and they asked for volunteers, and Hamza raised his arm. My husband and I were shocked. They picked Hamza and he went up in front of an entire audience and was speaking into a microphone, answering questions. My biggest regret was not getting the whole thing on video. I was so shocked and focused on what was happening that it wasn’t until halfway that I remembered to start recording this monumental moment in my child’s life! His confidence, his answers…I was shocked. My husband and I just looked at each other with pure joy and so much pride. When did this happen? What pushed him to take this step? He’s usually so shy in public, and can easily switch from being agreeable to suddenly losing his temper, but what we saw in that moment was a composed and confident young boy, who was actually enjoying himself!
Layla, I discovered, was so easy going. When we go into a store, Hamza will run around picking out things and whining nonstop for us to get every single item he’s picked out. Layla, on the other hand, is easily persuaded to just pick out one thing, or put something down, or wait until we get to the next store. On the other hand, Layla is a lot more independent and fidgety than Hamza. Hamza knows to stay with us and around us, whereas Layla will wander off on her own without a care in the world. She gave me a few scares, and I had to buckle her up tight for the remainder of the trip. She also, quite literally, sang and danced her way through every single day we were in Singapore. She made friends with everyone, smiling and laughing at them. On the airplane, Layla spent most of the flight back to Abu Dhabi sitting with the cabin crew. I went to check on her and found them all surrounding her taking pictures and videos while she put on a show for them. It was hilarious.
The truth is, we spend day in and day out with our children trying to live according to a strict routine, and we go mad if we divert even a tiny bit outside of that routine. You know what though? It’s healthy, and highly recommended to break that monotony every once in a while. It doesn’t even have to be traveling abroad. You can start small, take a road trip to a nearby town or city. And you know what? Even if they don’t remember their trip to Singapore, who cares? I remember it. And I sure as hell will be telling them all about our adventures when they’re older. At least I know that the experiences they had and life skills they learned at this critical age of development has made them better.
In short, having kids should be more reason to travel.